Sophie McCartney - One Foot In The Rave

“You hear about the midlife crisis a lot. From the male perspective, maybe they cheat on their wives. I’m not stereotyping that gender here at all,” Sophie McCartney says with an accompanying giggle. “But they do have very obvious outward signs of their midlife crisis. Whereas, with women, it's almost like we're told to just get on with it and fade into insignificance.”

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The award-winning comedian, podcaster and best-selling author is explaining the foundations of her new live show, One Foot In The Rave. “This is very much looking at the stage I'm at in my life. I just turned 40, and I'm not gonna lie, I haven't taken it great… or gracefully.” Rather than bow to existential crisis, she’s taking it head on – dissecting the hang-ups we all have (or probably will have) around completing our fourth decade. 

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She’s got no intention of fading into the background or being defined either by societal expectation or the perimenopause. “Nobody knew it was really a thing until 10 years ago. They just whipped it out to traumatise all those women who’d just turned 40. We thought we were good up until about 50, now we're all having panic attacks and hot flushes. So yeah, we go into that.”

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And then, of course, as the name suggests, she wants to bring a rave element into the show. Like many people of her age, she isn’t quite ready to give up reaching for the laser on a Saturday night. But there are some limitations. “I want to go out, but I don't want to go out.” Nightlife can become a foreign country when you hit a certain age.  She confesses that there’s now few greater joys in life than being blown out at the last minute by someone. “See! The intention was there, but you don't have to follow through on it. You can sit in your pyjamas and watch something on Netflix instead.”

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Last year saw her debut international stand-up tour, Tired & Tested - which turned out to be Live Nation’s fastest selling show for a female comedian. This found her wading into the deep waters of parenthood, exploring the unexpected complexities and wringing comedy gold from her own failings. The author of two Sunday Times Number One bestsellers, and host of the similarly named podcast, 

McCartney has built up a legion of fans with her honesty and wry look at life.

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Now she takes a journey into new territory, but it’s a place which could prove all too familiar for audiences. “You know, I'm still talking a little bit about the parenting because, you know, I've got three kids, and a lot of my life is dominated by those small people. Of course it is.” She got into stand-up at the tail-end of 2019. Getting some wind under the sails, she was going around the northwest doing open mic nights, and went: ‘Oh my gosh, I love this. I'm really gonna pursue comedy.’ And then the world ended…” There was a refusal to let lockdown stymy this newfound love. 

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By the time we emerged from the pandemic, she was approaching 40. “When you're looking at comedy industry awards or articles, they're looking for upcoming new stars. And the only thing coming towards me is my pension or death… I guess I’m not typical of what people would maybe want to see. But then again, I'm very representative of a huge proportion of people in society.”

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She agrees that women in comedy audiences are poorly catered for by the industry. If you’re looking to venture out for a comedy night, there’s little problem in finding shows packed with men of a certain age talking about ‘blokey’ stuff. And just that preconception can stop some people from going out and experiencing stand-up for the first time. “What I found after I did my last tour was that I had women coming in groups. It was an excuse to get something in the diary, gather the troops and everyone leaves the house for a purpose. We can book it in months in advance. Let's go and have a weekend away. It was a real occasion for some of these women. They were messaging me afterwards to say: ‘We've never been to a standup comedy show ever before. We've been to see you, and we loved it.’ Now they’re going out and looking to go and see other comedians.”

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McCartney forms part of a growing number of comedians bringing new audiences to stand-up. Anyone who knows the scene well can tell you, despite the rise of more socially conscious comedy, it can still be an intimidating environment for both performers and spectators. There are still vast demographics which haven’t been recognised or catered for by the industry. “I think that's one of the brilliant things about being a woman and being in comedy. I can connect with an audience that wasn’t necessarily into it before but now realise that they love it.”

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She doesn’t want to stereotype the niche she’s carved out and subsequently widened, but new parents don’t get much representation in the industry. “You know, we don't get out much, because it’s hard. But, if you give us an opportunity, we do want to laugh.” And if anybody needs to have a good laugh, it's those who are sleep deprived, have been wearing the same clothes for days and become a bit desperate for some escapism. “It makes my job a lot easier, because they're just so deranged from tiredness, they'll laugh at anything,” she offers slyly. “It’s like shooting fish in a barrel..!”

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So, One Foot In The Rave, which is about to head out on an extensive tour across the UK and Ireland, finds McCartney entering a new stage of life. She’s too old to be considered young, but surely too young  to be considered old. Life is more confusing than ever, not least with our changing attitudes to going out. “I've gone out begrudgingly, and I look around at the young people in the bar. You swear to yourself, when you were younger, that you’d never turn into your parents, and never say the kind of things they used to say. But there you are, aged 40, in a Slug & Lettuce with all your friends… You just ordered your Espresso Martini decaf... You're looking around the room, going: ‘God, they don't look old enough to be in here. Have you seen what she's wearing? If my daughter went out wearing something like that… Is that what’s trendy now?’ I still take my ID with me on a night out.” She doesn’t know why she still does it. Her husband jokes that if anyone's looking at it, she’s either arrested or dead. Why does she persist in carrying it on nights out? Does she still want to feel young or maybe have a flirt with the bouncer when he asks to look at it. “It never happens, but I can dream. But it's the hangovers as well. They’re very different once you hit 40.”

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In essence, One Foot In The Rave is about navigating a new existence where there’s a price to pay after three glasses of wine. She suggests the number of drinks you have is equal to the weeks that you’ll feel awful afterwards. Staying out until 2am also extracts a heavy price. It's the same for many of us who have grown up, but don’t want to actually grow up too much. Fortunately, the night-time industry is slowly recognising that there’s a huge number of people who quite fancy the opportunity to go out and be tucked up in bed at midnight. There’s a growing trend for daytime clubbing and comedy shows. After all, it’s this is a generation who still has some kind of disposable income. Until recently, a lot of clubs didn’t open until 11pm. Some would even open at 1am, so it makes sense to move it forwards and get another sitting in. 

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“On the last tour, I had a couple of shows at 5pm. When it was originally mooted, and I got the schedule through, I was questioning it. 5pm on a Saturday… Who's coming out see comedy gig then? But they were the best shows I think I did on that tour. It went off.” She says part of the reason must be because everyone is grateful to be able to pop out and have a nice lunch first, maybe a few drinks, but still be at home “with their bra off” by 8pm. You can't argue with that. “That's my ideal night out. It’s what I'm aiming for. Actually… maybe I've made a bit of an error. A lot of my shows have 8pm starts. But maybe on the next tour, it'll all be about 5pm comedy sessions. Yeah!”

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The themes McCartney pours into her shows dovetail neatly with the experiences charted on her hugely popular podcast, Tired & Tested. Launched in August 2023, this weekly outing stormed into the Top 5 comedy charts with its breezy blend of good-natured humour and parenting stories. It all came from her habit of chatting to sizeable audiences on Facebook Live. 

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“I would jump on and I would effectively just talk to myself for an hour. I’d have thousands of people watching, especially during lockdown. At one point, I had 5000 people tuned in, just for me sitting in my pyjamas. I'd do a couple of tequila shots with them. My husband would walk in and find me absolutely leathered. Why is it that you get in trouble with people you don't know on the internet?”

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It seemed to be a natural progression to actually take that from something which happened ad hoc on socials and to place it in a more controllable arena which was a little more beneficial and structured. People can just download the shows, instead of being in front of their screens at 9am on a Weds morning. Because, we all have busy lives now.

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It frames the daily experiences of someone who is peaking as a millennial, but is often very tired, and quite occasionally tested to her limits. Sometimes she’ll talk about parenting, but most often it’s just normal things which can affect everybody; like those weird, intrusive thoughts. “It’s just day to day life. We get people in with their stories. It's quite immersive and good fun.”

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She’s recently taken a break from the podcast, but this afternoon she’s heading off to record new episodes for a second season. The brief hiatus was good, allowing her to take stock of where it’s all come to and sharpen focus for another run. She admits she’s still new to the game but quickly finding her feet in the format.

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“At one point we just carried on and on, and on and on. And on. We had producers saying: ‘It's all about the algorithm…’  So we powered through. But that is creatively taxing. We needed to take a little bit of a break.” Now for season two of Tired & Tested with Sophie McCartney there’s going to be all the fan-favourites, along with a few special new features and lots more guests. “We did have a spate of guests who’d clearly never listened, but their PR people had approached us,” she concedes. “There was one episode we had to dump. We were giving someone random Urban Dictionary phrases, which are notoriously low brow, for her to try and work out what they were. You could see it dawn on her that she had no idea what was happening. She was about to go and fire her publicist immediately.”

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This time round, McCartney is being a bit more picky with who gets invited on. They need to fit in with the ethos of the show. Or hopefully in the world of comedy. “That's the thing about podcasts. You're creating a kind of identity, and something that feels like part of your family. If you've got somebody who doesn't understand that kind of link, then it's just won’t work. Magic is not gonna happen.” It’s this sense of community which makes Tired & Tested shine. Alongside the robust pickings from Urban Dictionary are stories from listeners, who share their weird, awkward and complex experiences. “We get people writing in about the time that they nearly had their kids taken away by social services because of massive parenting fails. That's what people come to us for every week. You know, if it ain't broke, don't try and fix it.”

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Obviously, as a parent, there’s always a risk of her children hearing or reading their mother’s material at some point. McCartney is very much aware of this - but sees it as potentially a positive thing. “When I was growing up, my parents were these very impenetrable kind of creatures. They weren't very free and easy with their emotions. I certainly didn't hear all the random thoughts that were obviously going through their heads.” She was very conscious of her youngsters’ potential reactions when she wrote the book version of Tired & Tested - but points out that it will be around d when she isn’t. “I was respectful of the children. Also, at the back of my mind, I was aware their teachers could potentially read it. But, that first book is actually my feelings on how I coped with the early days of parenting. I didn't go into stories that would embarrass the kids, and I still feel quite strongly about that.” When she started doing more on social media, she would bring the little ones in on the videos. At first, she thought it was just good fun, but when her reach grew she became uncomfortable with the idea of people she didn’t know interacting with her children. 

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“Now, I will talk about parenting, but I'm very conscious about things that might cause them embarrassment. My son just started high school, and he would be mortified if I was talking about him in certain capacities. Yeah, I’m very, very aware of that now. Which is why I actually enjoy the fiction writing a lot more. I can have my characters say whatever I want, and it’s OK. I don’t hold back as much.”

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Surprisingly, for someone who grew a large online following quite quickly, she has a love/hate relationship with social media. She obviously uses it for work. It's how people find her, hear about the shows, get the books and communicate with her. “But I don't use it for personal things. I've got personal Instagram; I've got personal Facebook. I haven't updated them in about six years. I've probably got friends who I went to school and university with, but they don't know I had another baby. I'm very aware of it on a night out as well, especially if I go on date night with my husband. You do look around and see people on their phones.” She gets it. If you’ve been married for 15 years, you probably run out of things to say. It’s easier to get your phone out and have a swipe in a restaurant rather than talking to your partner about the weather or all the chores waiting at home.

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Her tips for successful date night are simple. Prepare some talking points during the run up to that big occasion. “They say romance is dead, but no more. Not now that you've got a little checklist of things you can talk about. It keeps you focused. It is a personal hate of mine, when I look around restaurants and see people on dates staring at their phones.” For a moment, she looks off to one side; either lost in thought or quietly mourning for every silent couple in a restaurant. “They could have stayed at home with their onesie on, watching something on the telly. Just get a takeaway! No, get your talking points and your high heels, and you’re all good.”

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While the allure of the sofa might be strong, One Foot In The Rave promises to be a show which celebrates those who no longer feel seen or heard. “It’s empowering. It’s giving people the ability to just embrace where they are in life. The world can be unforgiving, but it's okay to say you don't like something. You’re allowed to feel things. You’re allowed to be upset about the fact that you now have acne at the age of 40, when you thought you'd said goodbye to all of that. You are allowed to feel a little bit sorry for yourself, but then you are also allowed to look at the positives. You can move forwards with your life. That's what I want people to go away with… and also have an absolutely banging audience playlist!”

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Sophie McCartney takes One Foot In The Rave across the UK and Ireland during 2025, including Tunbridge Wells’ Assembly Hall Theatre on Fri 28 Feb, Worthing Assembly Hall on Sat 22 Mar, G-Live in Guildford on Sun 25 May and Brighton’s Corn Exchange on Mon 12 Sept. Her podcast, Tired & Tested, is available now from your favourite platform.

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www.sophiemccartney.com 

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All images by Karla Gowlett

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